How To Make Someone's Day Un-Boring

Well, I spent much of October changing my name on records. Drivers license, Social Security, credit cards, utility companies, stockbroker, insurance company, and just all those stores you deal with online. Still haven't done them all yet (like Macy's - I almost never go there, and they want me to go in person...).

Well, this morning I realized there was one other place I forgot to change my name -- voter registration.

So, after one other unrelated errand, I realized that, and swung back by the house to get a copy of the court order, and headed off to the polling station with both my drivers licenses (old and new, yes, they let me keep my old one...) and the court order. Sure enough, I was on the rolls under my old name (we all wondered why DMV hadn't updated the list when I got my new DL, but well...). Anyway, they asked me to come back and talk to the marshall of the station, a nice young man, who got on the phone to his supervisors.

He was very polite, and referred to me as maam, and simply referred to my case as a "name change - first and middle name only" to his supervisor. They found my records, and I filled out a new registration form, so it should all be good next time, and I got to vote.

Hopefully, I helped break their boredom... ;-)

All is good. Just took longer than normal.

Happy voting day everyone. Although we're not expecting to have happy returns here in Virginia, at least in the govenor's race.

Southern Comfort 2009

We went to Southern Comfort Conference last weekend. No, not the drink, the annual transgender conference in Atlanta. Wetlanta. SCC is almost more party than it is conference - several of our friends basically "held court" as they say, in the bar, from Wed - Sat.

Here are some pics...











Status of other transition-related stuff..

I've been back at work for like a month now, and things are going fine. The department wants me to move into management too, take over one of the groups within the department, free up our current group leader to do more business development stuff. For her, I'll do it, although I'm not keen on moving through management. But it's cool that they're considering me for this regardless of transition or not.

Name change: the circuit court website says it takes 3 weeks. I submitted my first set of forms on Aug. 7. The court lost them. I found out on Aug 26, after surgery. Went down and submitted a second set. They found the first set, voided them and mailed them back to me. The law clerk had 10 days to review, she took more than that. The judge apparently signed the court order last Monday, waiting for the papers to go thru final processing and get back to me. Then off to DMV (Dept Motor Vehicles) for a new drivers license, then to Social Insecurity, then everything else should run smoothly after that.

IFGE Conference, April 2010

Hot news item just in!!
-----------------------

International Foundation for Gender Education

272 Carroll St. NW

Washington, DC 20012



Contact: Andrea von Kaenel

Email: Andrea@IFGE.org



For Public Release



September 6, 2009



IFGE is pleased to announce that it’s 24th annual conference will be held in the Washington DC area for 2010. The IFGE Capital Conference 2010 will run from April 22nd – through April 25th, 2010, at the Hilton Alexandria Mark Center – 5000 Seminary Road, Alexandria, VA. A full schedule of seminars, keynote speakers, events, meals and entertainment is being planned.



A special hotel room rate of $139 per night has been arranged with the Hilton Alexandria Mark Center for the duration of the IFGE Capital Conference 2010. This special rate is well below current room rates for similar hotel properties in the Washington DC area. To receive this special rate, you must call the hotel reservations department directly at 703-845-1010 and request the group rate for “IFGE” – or – use the following special website:



http://www.hilton.com/en/hi/groups/personalized/DCAAHHF-IFGE-20100421/index.jhtml



IFGE is a non-profit advocacy organization founded in 1987, devoted to promoting acceptance for Transgender people everywhere through education. For more information about IFGE’s Capital Conference 2010, please email us at the address above, or visit www.ifge.org/2010.

Here' something interesting I didn't predict...

Okay, so, I went back to work last Monday, as Jude. I've been coordinating with the company since last November, and this went smoothly, just like pretty much everything else has. Got a new picture badge with my new name first thing that morning, and they changed my email and internal web page by Tuesday morning. very cool. all of that went just fine.

So, work was the last place I showed up as Jude. I had been going to the bank, grocery stores, all over everywhere else ever since surgery (Aug 12), maybe a bit before, so, with work settled, I guess that makes me officially full time.

The only hiccup was that the county circuit court lost my first set of name change papers, so I had to resubmit last week, and so the legal part is a bit behind schedule, but that hasn't caused any severe problems yet.

Had my first therapist session since surgery this afternoon. She was very impressed with the surgery results (okay, will get a pic up), and we talked a lot about how odd it can be to realize you're full time and that you've actually transitioned after all this time.

Now, on all the receipts for years now, she's been putting the DSM code for GID - Gender Identity Disorder. She commented near the end of the session that she has to reconsider whether that's still an appropriate diagnosis now that I'm full time. That perhaps I don't meet the criteria for it anymore. I find that hilarious and amazing at the same time.

First Day At Work

Okay, well, so,...

Today is my first day at the office as Jude. And I'm about 19 days post FFS. Things have gone very smoothly so far, pretty quietly actually. Got a new photo ID badge first thing, it now says "Jude" instead of my old guy name, and has a new picture of course. The name/pic will be updated on the internal corporate website soon.

Folks are saying I look great, one guy didn't recognize me (but he's only been here a couple of months so that's excusable). I'm being told that it's likely more folks won't recognize me -- I find that hard to believe, but the evidence seems to point that way. Odd.

Have not had a horde of folks dropping by to visit - more like one or two. I think we're all just busy, which is fine. I couldn't take more days at the house, with needy little doggies (who are very lovable, but... ;-)

Rather interesting, I must say. So, this is what post-transition is like.... ;-)

Later gators

Post FFS #1

Hey,

So, I had facial surgery last Wednesday. Or, should I say, we had it, as it does impact the whole extended family. So, here’s the updates, divided into sections:

What the Doctor did

How It Feels, What It Looks Like

Impacts on Loved Ones & Family.


What the Doctor did
Basically, an enhanced face lift. Starting at the top and working down…
Two small incisions along the hairline, either side of center, to do a brow lift.
Upper eyelids – incisions along the length of each upper eyelid to remove excess, leaves a cleaner look
Lower eyelids – pretty much the same. Lowers are still covered in tape that runs across the upper cheeks.
Facelift: incisions in the sideburn area and behind the ears, pulled the skin back along the entire cheek area. I have staples and incisions in the hair.
Nose: Incisions in the nostrils – to reduce the “bulb” look I had at the end of my nose, make it not so prominent.
Upper lip: Incision along the bottom edge of the nose, to pull the center upper lip upwards – women have a smaller space tween nose and upper lip. Incisions along the outer edge of the upper lip – about ½”, ¾” on each side, pull the upper edge of the lip up, balances the center pull.
Neck: lipo and reduction of the second chin and lots of extra stuff under there. Incision is right behind my chin.

The surgery was 8 am Wednesday morning, and lasted for 6 hours. Sweety took me home at some point that afternoon after they released me from recovery. The swelling set in at some point the next day, and got worse through Friday. It seemed to be a bit better Saturday morning, and is reduced more today (Sunday), which is pretty much the schedule the docs projected.

How It Feels, What It Looks Like
The first day or so, it pretty much sucked. Things are tight, sore, parts don’t move that well. I don’t particularly like how the serious painkiller (Percocet) makes me feel, so I’ve been relying more on Motrin, which seems to actually work pretty well. I seem to be alert for a bit, like an hour, then suddenly I conk out for an hour or so. That’s improving day to day, I seem to be much better on stamina today (Sunday).
I’m putting a bunch of pictures down below. If you don’t like looking at pictures like this, skip, I won’t be offended. Really. I’ve had Sweety taking pictures every day.

Impacts on Loved Ones & Family.
Well, Sweety has had to look at me all day every day. She’s stayed right by my side till Saturday morning, when she went to clinic for a few hours – and she arranged for our friend (and acupuncturist) Beth to come and sit with me for the morning. The kids (my son Tom – 17, and daughter Kate, 21) both came by on Thursday (I think it was Thursday), but didn’t stay long. Kate headed back to college town Saturday and I saw her for a bit before she left, and Tom is back over for a few days. They don’t seem particularly bothered – but I can’t help wondering what it’s like to see one's parent’s face get changed like this. Or one’s partner’s face. I worry about how this will affect family relationships, long term, it’s the kind of thing I wonder about. Worry about too, I guess. On the one hand, they’re all incredible people, and if anyone can handle it, it’s them. On the other hand, I feel like I’m imposing a lot of stuff on them…. They’ve been completely supportive, and I owe them so much. I will care for them the rest of my life, a new life that they’ve helped me achieve.

Help Pass ENDA!

Hi folks,

This is about the Employee Non Discrimination Act - ENDA for short.

Jillian Wiess, Trangender Workplace Diversity is working to get us to pressure legislators to vote in favor

"Please repost this message: S 1584, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, needs 16 more votes. Here's the math and the contact info you need to pass ENDA: http://bit.ly/r7qrO "

the link will let you see where your local legislators stand. Please tell your folks to help pass this.

Thanks

-Jude